Burden

"Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually!"
--Psalm 105:4

I'm stubborn. It's true. I don't like to rely on other people and I like things done my way, quickly, efficiently, thoroughly. These aren't necessarily bad traits, but they do get me into trouble sometimes. As I get older, I realize the danger signs easier, but it wasn't always that way. I would run myself into the ground--pretty much literally, actually, before I would admit weakness and cry uncle. Sometimes I ignore that annoying inner voice that is telling me things I don't want to hear, but then, inevitably, it turns out to be right. I've watched cycle after cycle of it happen in my own life, and cycle after cycle of this same predicament happen with close friends of mine. But what am I talking about?

I'm talking about doing things on your own strength. I'm talking about setting your eyes and heart on the things you want, instead of focusing on what God's heart is leading you. I'm talking about being "too busy" with work, with school, with friends, with family, to spend even a minute or two in prayer everyday, in meditation.

I'm guilty of forever trying to do things "all by myself." It's like I have some horrible "I'm a big girl now!" complex from the pull-ups commercials. I don't want to place trust in someone else to help me, because to do that shows incredible weakness on my part. Of course that isn't true, there is nothing wrong with asking for help, but to me it feels a horrible and shameful crime. Teaching yourself to think a different way, the complete opposite way, really, to constantly seek the Lord and rely on his strength, seems at first completely contradictory to what our own instincts tell us.

And yet, once you change your perspective, a huge weight is lifted off of your shoulders.

There is a beautiful verse in Proverbs:

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."
--Proverbs 3:5-6

That's a promise. As is the following verse.

"Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall."
--Psalm 5:22

So...what you're telling me is that not only do I no longer have to struggle with everything in my life on my own, but that I will be strengthened and encouraged as well? Yup. =)

And, I think it is important to note that we are told to do this, not once a week, not every once in a while, but constantly, continually, and in all ways, not just some.

I'm stubborn, and this concept is a struggle every day to live out, but I know that by trusting in the Lord, and by casting my cares on him, I won't have to inevitably stumble because I am the one stubbornly calling the shots, and not God. Of course that doesn't mean I never slip up and try to control and micromanage everything on my own strength, but the second I am willing to let it all go and let God make the call, it's like I can finally breathe, like a crushing weight has been taken off of me. There is a burden in following Christ, but it isn't an earthly one, and it doesn't crush your soul like earthly troubles do. In reality, it's freeing, it's a new way to view things, it's all of the hope that the world lacks.

I'll end with this verse:

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
--Matthew 11:28-30