Death and Hope

My grandfather is dying. Slowly, and yet too quickly and then yet again not quickly enough. Slowly, because his body is gradually, and soon to be rapidly shutting down; he has myoplastic leukemia and is 87 years old. Or "78 years old." He forgets sometimes. His mind has been going a lot longer than his aged body. Too quickly, because even if death is inevitable, even if you know it is more right to let it come quietly instead of playing God and drawing out the eventual painful result, there is always a part of you which wants to prolong it, make the person you love last longer, spend more time with them. Not quickly enough because it is so painful to watch someone you love suffer as their every organ shuts down, as they weaken so much that they cannot raise a hand or speak and they are lost in a haze of pain and drugs to stop it. Delirium. On Saturday I will visit my grandfather. And probably say my last goodbye while he is still conscious, alert and pain free enough to recognize who I am. Two weeks. Maybe. Perhaps more. Or maybe less. Death marches toward us with the steady beating drum.

Nothing can make us shy both towards or away from religion as death can. Those who are angry at God use death as an excuse as to why he does not exist. Those who believe often say that the dearly departed are "in a better place." I am not patronizing either viewpoint. Personally, I believe that when I finally pass on, whether it is five minutes or fifty years from now, I will be going to a place of joy where pain does not exist. This is a promise shown in the Bible. But to those who do not believe that the Bible is truth, it becomes even more meaningless. I can not honestly say that I never have doubts about heaven, or what happens after I die. But that doesn't mean I forsake my beliefs, and here is why: In those moments when I am desperate with grief, or loss or whenever I am simply lost or at the end of my proverbial rope, that is when I find God. God is always there, but it takes reaching out to Him at times to feel Him waiting for you, supporting you. We can lose faith and we can lose our way, but He never forsakes us. This is the great hope that we have. Persevering through loss, reaching out and finding that God has been reaching toward us every step of the way. Showing others that out of our grief and loss there was also hope.

"At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared,he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life."
--Titus 3:3-3:7

That is where I stand, although I know there are many who disagree. Funny, when you think about the number of wars that have been based on this idea, this permanent and inevitable quality of all life. We are all born, and we all will one day pass away. Life and Death are absolutely intertwined with one another. But although there is pain and loss, there is also hope.

There is always hope.