Rest In You

"Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies ? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." Luke 12: 6-7

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." --Matt 6:25-34


So, I was really stressing out today. You know, that panicky feeling in your chest/throat that kind of feels like a heart palpitation meets asthma meets headache meets stomach ache? And it just kept on getting worse and worse and I was driving to work and suddenly I was just like, "Jesus, you know me. You care. You are going to take care of me and I refuse to doubt your love. You care about the smallest sparrow, so how much more do you care for me? You provide, you will always be there." And then a few verses popped into my head. I am so valuable to God, how can I doubt that He holds a precious place for me in His heart? How can I doubt that He will take care of me? I am worrying so much. I am literally sick with worry, with stress. I don't know how I am going to support myself, because my family can no longer afford to. I don't know, and I am so stressed and so worried. But it has to end. And the moment I had that epiphany, the feeling kind of stopped. It just disappeared the moment I said His name. The panicky feeling was gone, but I'm still worrying. So I got to work and I forced myself to sit in the car in silence for a moment and then declare His love and grace over myself. And it was tough. I'm a worrier. I'm a planner. Not knowing things stresses me out. My life, right now, is stressing me out majorly. But today God just popped his head into my life and kind of said, "Hey, hey, remember me? I'm over here. Um, stop worrying. I'm holding you up. You can't hold yourself up, so stop trying to. Remember how I led Karen to call you out of the blue and offer you a job when, yeah, you needed one, but it wasn't ABSOLUTELY necessary? And now it is? You don't think I've been planning ahead for weeks? For years? For an eternity? Why are you worrying when I've got it all handled?"

And I went, "Well, gee. I don't know." lol. He took away the panicky feeling, but I'm still fighting the worry and the stress and I know it's not just going to fly away in an instant. This is a serious battle I'm going through. The enemy is trying to tell me I'm not good enough, smart enough, will never be able to earn enough to pay the bills. But I know it's a lie. God sees the sparrow. He saw me. He saw this moment before it even happened and he provided something out of the blue that turned from an "Oh yeah!" blessing to an incredible unforseen blessing of an even deeper nature.

And then Matthew 6 just slapped me in the face. "Do not worry. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them....Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?.....O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?'.... But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Oh me of little faith. How can I doubt that He will provide? Has He not done so so far? Is not life more important? Yes, it is. And I have been worrying, I have been stressing, I have been creating problems that might not even happen in the future. I need to take each day as it comes. That doesn't mean throw plans away and say,"God will lead me. I don't have to do anything. He'll do it all for me if I just believe hard enough." Because that's not true. We meet God half way. Tomorrow has its own issues, and I can deal with them then. But the here, the now, it is so precious. And He is taking care of me, whether I realize it or not.

On the way home, a song by Hillsong came on. "Rest in You."

Your faithfullness endures always
Where mountains fall and reason fails
And You calm the raging seas
And You calm the storms in me, again

All I know is I find rest in You
All I know is I find rest in You

My heart will praise throughout the night
Where singing seems a sacrifice
Your grace is all I need
Your grace is all I need


He is faithful, even when my life is crashing down around me. I will find rest in Him. My soul finds rest in Him alone. His grace is all I need. So my goal is to stop worrying, to rest in His grace, to give all that I am, all of my hopes and fears and worries and stress to Him. He is faithful. And His grace is abundant. I will rest in Him.

Amen